I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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