PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
we're so committed to being not committed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
