She announced her abortion via fbk
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
