Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
