How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
