it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
