he shaved USA in his pubs
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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