I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
