why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
