If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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