If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
