absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
