i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
did i walk over a car last night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
