we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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