At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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