I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
jump out the window naked night went bad
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