No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
