Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
love makes seman taste better
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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