I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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