as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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