Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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