and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
