that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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