A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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