with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
