let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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