mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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