I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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