my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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