turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
