How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How naked do you want me to be?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize