Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
