Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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