Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
