my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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