you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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