did you get engaged???
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
