Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
