barbara walters just said penis...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
