Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
