i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
