is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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