I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize