i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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