You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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