it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
