if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
