Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
