if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
