As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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