I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
