Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
