Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
