The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize