She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
