I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize