i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
