so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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