hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
