he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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