Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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