Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
