he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
