So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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